Funny Friday

Ten Thoughts to Ponder

Number 10 – Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 – Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!
Number 7 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.
Number 6 – Some people are like a slinky…..not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 – Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 – In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2009: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven’t got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Have a great weekend!